Driving test tomorrow@@@@@

wow,so fast man,and its driving test tmr.Sigh.......so

Do i feel scare?

At the moment,i mean now,NO.i feel relax actually,bt i know when i'm there,i'll be scare to my toes@@ heehee think before i go to bed,i'll try to recall all the rules and stuff :)

Do i feel pressurised?

Well,alittle.....it more of by people who really care for me....cos they seems to be more excited than i am.hahah its like they keep saying u v onZ so sure can make it....sigh...i dun know,i feel i'm okie bt hor when it come to a new car,i'm really doubtful..heehee at least if i fail,i will give myself a reason that cos i changed a new car thus not used to it...bt deep down,i know it will be due to lack of experience and lack of seriousiness when learning to drive :)

okie,wanna sleep early bt have to bath and all that..haha i act as if i dun have exam coming like that leh@@@@ sigh,haven revised a single thing except for test....dun know can make it a not..try lah :)

serene OUT

To a angry friend,


actualli i sort of promised that i wun talk abt it bt i see that this seems to be getting out of hand and well,i feel that if i dun write this down,i feel that i dun have a space just to clarify myself.its not that i'm saying i'm right bt sometimes to a problem,there is always two faces, and neither is right or wrong so ya thus i'm saying the other side of the coin.

i have a problem currently,a friend told me that she is offended by how i teach and feel that i have a big ego in terms of school work and feel that she is unable to ask me anything regarding schoolwork.Firstly,when i see that problem arised,i'm shocked,i mean really shocked.its like it never occur to me that this problem will rise.y?because,in my heart,i always feel that me and p(name of that pal) are people with different strength in different subject.If i'm good at math,she will be good at science,if i'm good at chinese,she will be good at english.Thus its cool that we can always help each other and not lost the confident we have,its like we are specialised in different field thus usually,there wun be a clash.Bt then i'm wrong.it seems that she has a totally different idea.

secondly,i went i'm teaching someone,i love to say something like,"hey,u wanna die issit?its not difficult,just that u forgot how to do liao lor" i dun know y bt i say that really on purpose cos to me i feel that by hearing that,i feel that i can do the sum,just that i forgot and geting abit of hints from someone,i'll be able to do.if i teach someone without even saying that,it means that u really dont know ur stuff and i'm really teaching.To me,this is my mentally bt it may seems offending.sigh,i dun know bt it seems that two people are already pissed with this so ya.......

lastly,i can say lots of shit bt ya, can say that i got big ego bt its really just towords myself wat.i have big ego cos i cant bring myself to ask pple or i can say i lazy to ask.i prefer to find out myself and i dun understand by memorising bt at least i have to find out some theory to convince myself to believe inorder for me to learn.Bt i NEVER thought that i'm v clever hor.its like for chemistry,i know that its easy for those who did A levels before thus i say,"aiya chem exam?dun need to worry lah"

its sort of hurts to know that this is how people think of u.i mean being friends for so long.sigh,as liang ge said,the truth hurts, now i get that.It not that confessions is not good bt maybe its good too so that i will know.since p has said it out ,things has become abit ugly,its like,when i see that i'm able to do some stuff,i know that he/she will prefer to ask someone else even though i'm just right infront.ya,Maybe its better this way,so that i have time to do some revision?ummmm........... wat ever,i'll say that some things are better to be left untold or just act as nothing has happened bt somehow i feel that ignorance maybe a blessing if things just dun wanna change,at least i wun have the feeling there.yupZ done. serene OUT

Happy birthday to me@@@@

damn,i actually wrote alot of stuff just now bt hor dun know y erased aways le...so sad.so i'm gonna make this short and sweet.Thanx to everyone for the birthday wishes....except GOH CHENG LIANG,who convinently forgot my birthday...cos he didnt wish me happy birthday...heehee wenjun gave me a shock actualli cos he wrote a testimonal for me then wish me happy bday,wow,he still remember leh@@ even my primary school friends also remembered.. so touched. :)

Yesterday's celebration is really tiring and sweet.Thanx everyone.i think the one that i have to thanx most is ym cos she did a lot for me.its like she do a half an hour "video" for me and get all my friend to me inside.yes,i mean ALL my friends.Ash,kh,gcl,kw,jw,wj,edwina,amy.........EVERYONE,even my driving instructor@@@ hahah ya so thanx man. yesterday have a heart to heart tok to ym,told her everything. Abt me scare of her and i have a barrier towards her. I know it may hurt bt i have minimise it to the minimum so ya,it should be okie ba.AT least both of us laughted and smiled when we told abt it, :)

Thanx to alvin (ntu) too cos he make the candle thingy...its really sweet,although,heehee i think he made that cos ym is trying to do it bt cant so he wanna help :P
anyway love all of u lotSSSS
ohya,kh is the first to msg me,follow by kw, thanx man...sigh...bt the shit kh say "wow,i so late then msg then still can be the first ar?" idiot..... r u hinting that i dun have friends???????heehee
one of the most touching thing is that my primary sch friends remembered my birthday and wish me happy bday.really sweet of them. okie gtg now.. MuckZ everyone :)

Xing Fu De Xiao Hai

Tomorrow,mum will be emitted to the hospital then on friday,she will be having her operation.Man am i worried.To say that every thing is okie and nothing to be worried about.well,that is a complete bullshit.Its not that i'm worried that this is a dangerous operation or anything.I know this is a small operation bt i'm still worried.i dun know how to ease my mum's pain.I hope to be her pillar of strength bt come'on,who r u kidding?Some time i feel useless...this is just how i feel when dad and grandma is in the hospital.I just don't know how or wat to do.i just feel like a kid.Not grown up yet.Dun know wat to say or how to say.I know that mum is always a strong woman.She is capable and she leave all the worries to herself.I know that she must be worried abt the operation.Com'on,who wun?who wun be scare of pain and all that?But being her,even if she is scared,she wun review it.she will keep it to herself....especially not infront of her children.Now in this point of time.I really hope that dad is still around to share her burden,her worries.i dun know wat i can do.i think i'll just stay there with her.......She kept asking me not to go to the hospital bt hahah deep inside,i know she want me to be there cos when i told her i'm going,she didnt reject the offer.

These week,i'm always at home.After my lesson,i'll go home straight away instead of staying in the hostel.i know that she know y i come home cos she always offer to fetch me to school.Actually i can say that i'm a v v v lucky gal.Com'on,which mom will always wake up earlier than u to prepare u breakfast?To always try to cook something to ur liking?who will always offer to send u to school in the early morning and even though the distance is so long.Whom will alwayd cook supper for u when u are studying or when u are hungry....i'm not saying that other mum not the same bt i just feel that my mum is special.I love to act as a spoiled brat.hahah like a zhang bu da de xiao hai, whereby mummy needs to take good care of me every now and then :)

i just wanna write this down to remind myself how wonderful my mum is.Ya know,sometimes,when u r angry,u tend to forget about the person's good and be angry at him or her.Sometimes,when one grows up,they tend to forget abt how great their parents are and mistreat them.i dun want this to happen although i doubt so.......Thus,i wanna write this down to remind myself :) If ever my mum see this blog, i wanna tell her to give all her worries to me.To trust me and to be rest assured that i'll be there for her all the way.yupZ and i love her too. Don't think she will see this bt i think she already knew :)